MY STORY
by Suzanne R.
I am a 28 year old woman who has suffered from OCD since I was 14. My symptoms involve obsessive concerns with dirt and germs, with ritualistic cleaning and hand washing. I lived in a world of fear and dread of contacting various contaminants. It was controlling my life.
Last year, through the combination of medicine and behavior therapy, I experienced a breakthrough with my OCD. I can't describe to you the freedom I am now feeling. Starting to gain control over my OCD has been a mind boggling experience. It has been a few months now and although every day has its challenges, I feel so much confidence that I will continue to overcome it. I have to sometimes remind myself that I have overcome a certain previously feared situation, but once I realize I conquered it, it's a lot easier to perform the action that in the past would have seemed unthinkable. The important thing I have realized is that I cannot lose ground. Once I have done something that I have previously feared and avoided, I must continue to feel strong enough to continue not avoiding it.
The initial breakthrough in my therapy occurred one evening after leaving Dr. Hyman's office. I think the one thing that helped me to experience the breakthrough was his telling me I was ready to do it, and that I COULD do it. Letting myself believe in myself was probably the biggest obstacle to overcome.
In the past I've been asked if OCD hindered how I lived my life. My response was no, I wouldn't let it stop me. But I now realize that there was so much that I didn't realize. Since my mind has cleared of so many extra worries and thoughts, I have a great deal of free time to do other things. More productive things. I was only fooling myself when I said it was not a hinderance.
My hope for each one of you with OCD is that you will have the confidence and determination to face your OCD. I know the pain and embarrassment of dealing with OCD day in and day out. By doing nothing, it gets no better and does not magically go away.
Like I said before, I face challenges every day, but now I have the confidence in myself that I can and WILL overcome them.
